Ralph Wiggums' Diary
by spaniel10
Summary: This is Ralph Wiggums diary. See what goes on in his world!
1. Default Chapter

Ralphs Wiggums Diary

Note: Spelling and grammer have all been corrected.  
  
Dear Diary,  
Mommy gave me this book to help me learn my grahm crakers so I am going to use it.  
Today I woke up and saw a big white square. Then Daddy came and Daddy said its the ceiling. Mr Winky said its a spaceship. I think he is right.  
  
Then I went and had a big bowl of breakfast boulders. Daddy says they will make me big and strong. I like to put a spare one in my nose in case I get hungry.  
  
Then I heard a foghorn but then I saw a bus. I tried to decide whether to ride the bus or find the foghorn boat.I decided to ride the bus. I took Mr.Winky,my lunch and backpack and then went to school.  
  
On the bus, Nelson took Mr.Winky but I dont care since I found him on the floor afterwards. When we got to school I went to my first lesson. It was art. We were making collages.  
My tummy started rumbling so I ate the cottage cheese juice we put on our animals. It was yummy but it made my teeth stick together and I didnt like that.  
  
After that I was meant to have math but the teacher sent me to Principle Skinner who sent me to the nurse. The nurse took a kinfe and cut out the cottage cheese. I didn't like that.  
  
It was time for lunch so I opened the lunchbox mommy gave me. It had a bananna, a crunchy bar and a note from mommy.  
  
"Dear Ralphy,  
Remember to eat all of your lunch and be a good little boy. Dont eat anything that you shouldn't.  
Mommy"  
  
We finally had our last lesson and that was english. I was hungry so I ate the breakfast boulder I stored. We had a spelling test. I have a new high test score. 2/20. My teacher still wants to give me extra help but I said I dont need it because I'm improving.  
  
When I got home I showed it to mommy. She gave me a hug.I gave her a hug too. We are all one happy family.  
Ralphy  
  
Well, what do you think? Please, please send you comments. Should i continue it? Do you like it?  
  
Lauren


	2. Ralph Wiggums' Diary chapter 2

October 22nd 2004  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
It's the weekend today and daddy said I could go with him and catch all the bad little people and put them in prison. Daddy said prison was a big, giant cage. I want to live in a big giant cage when I am older. Then I can be a canary and practice flying around the room. I'm going to practice now.

Mommy told me to stop because if I didnt I could get a headache. I think I should keep going because I still have a headache from the cottage cheese.

I have to help daddy now but dont worry Mr.Grahm crackers book. You can come along too!

Daddy told me that the best way to start a crime search is to have a doughnut. I had a raspberry one that had little sprinkles on it. It was so yummy I stored two sprinkles in my fingernails for later.

Daddy finally started the car engine and it made a "BROOM! BRoooom!" sound! It was scary so I jumped behind a bush. Daddy told me that it was dangerous to do that because it was a poison ivy bush.

When we drove away I pressed my nose to the window and I saw a lion and the lion waved to me. He is my friend. I asked daddy if I could invite him over for a play date but daddy said I had one too many doughnuts.

Then, suddenly, I heard a voice come out of daddy's remote controle. I think that the remote control is a prison for naughty people.

When daddy heard the prisoner he pressed a button and our car made silly noises! Cars are funny!

When we got to where we had to go I saw a man who had way to many doughnuts hugging a comic book and crying.

Daddy took out his gun and looked around. I think he wanted his GambleDude magazine because I found one under the microwave.

When I was looking for it, I found a Happy Elves magazine. I asked daddy if I could get it but he said it was a bad time. That made me sad.

Daddy found a set of finger prints on the counter. We are going to go home and daddy said he would take the prints to the police station wagon and find out who's they were!

When I got home mommy said she was worried about me but that's silly because I never did or went anywhere unsafe all day!

Hi! Thanks for the comments! If anyone has any good suggestions for the next chapter PLEASE send them to me! Thanks!


	3. Ralph Wiggums' Diary Chapter 3

December 23rd, 2004

Dear Diary,

Our class is going on a trip to the zoo today! I can't wait!!! This morning Mr.Winky whispered something in my ear. He said, "Burn the monkeys". I'll take him along to help me.

When we got to the zoo our teacher asked us to get a partner. Everyone wanted to be partners with me, but none of them got me in time!!! I chose Lisa. She made a noise like a tiger when I picked her. I think she likes me.

Lisa said we would visit the orange tangs first. I'm happy about that. Orange is my favorite color.

When we got there I noticed that Lisa was lying. They were brown monsters! I made sure Mr.Winky wasn't crying first. I am brave. Then we ran behind a man with a camera. He had a bad look on his face.

Lisa told us we would leave the nice man alone so he could take his pictures. He wasn't nice. He was bad.

Next we went to the petting zoo. Lisa was wiping her had on a baby lamb. That is yucky!

I found a goat. He didn't look happy so I gave him a big hug! The goat doesn't like hugs. He started making scary noises. I gave him a bigger hug and he threw me off! I started crying so a nice lady gave me a quarter for the candy machines.

There were two of them. One had a picture of a goat on it and the other had a picture of a duck on it. Goats are mean so I chose the duck one. It tasted like marshmallows.

Lisa found me and told me that we were going to visit the tigers. She said we had to hurry up because it was almost time to leave. I waved bye-bye to a sheep and left.

When we went to the tigers I leaned against their window. They didn't care. I told Lisa to say something to them in tiger language. She said something but only to me. Not the tigers. I think it sounded like this: grrrrrrreeeeeeeeuhgk. Lisa is my friend.

It was finally time to go home. We had to choose partners to sit next to. I chose Mr.Winky. We talked about our favorite animals. His is a Hungaryin Tasmane Devil. That sounds scary. Mine is the Easter bunny. He is funny.

When we got home I let Mr.Winky sleep in my bed since he didn't have time to burn the monkeys.

That was my final Please submit reviews!


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